


Tired Morning

by InterGalacticKnight



Category: Animal Crossing New Horizons - Fandom, どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: F/M, Fluff, soft as shit, this is for a friend so if y’all don’t get it oopsie poopsie i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterGalacticKnight/pseuds/InterGalacticKnight
Summary: BabyCat man
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Villager/Villager (Animal Crossing)
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Baby sighed and rolled over in the bed, he was still groggy from being up late again, despite his more recent efforts to fix his schedule.  
The warmth next to him beckoned him, and he shifted under the sheets to move closer, wrapping his arm around the person next to him. He snuggled his face into her pillow and sighed into it, she always reminded him of how the excessive amounts of flowers all over the island, sweet smelling and like the first day of spring. 

He felt her shift back into his embrace, sleepily mumbling something incoherent then her hand finding its way to rest on his that was planted on her waist. He smiled to himself and tilted his head up to plant a soft kiss to the back of her neck, then slowly working his way down to her shoulder, he rested his chin there and opened his eyes to peer around the room. 

The door was ajar, letting in some sunlight from the hallway whereas the window in the room was covered in blackout curtains due to Baby usually sleeping more during they day. Clothes were piled in the hamper in the corner, a shelf with loads of books sat not far from the door, most of them read and many of them started and unfinished. 

Next to that was a computer desk with a laptop and some files stacked on top of it, mostly just reports for Nook. Two bags sat in front of it, one on the chair and one of the floor. Her overnight bag was in the chair, half open after being rifled though for pajamas at 12pm in a mad haste for much needed sleep. 

Baby’s attention was drawn back down when he felt her rolling over, he lifted his head from her shoulder as she turned to lie on her back. Her eyes hardly open before they were wide and focused on him. 

“Oh hey, you’re up early.”

He voice was soft, he smiled at the sound of it almost instantly, but instead of replying he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“Couldn’t stay asleep for much longer, too cold.” 

She slipped an arm behind him and grabbed the comforter to pull it up and over his shoulders, then slightly over his head. 

“Better?” 

Her expression was playful, voice hinting it as well. She always knew how to draw him in so much deeper when she acted this way, it was one of his favorite parts of her personality how she always made everything as what he saw to be as cute as possible. 

“Actually you are much warmer.” 

He moved from being on his side to his back, pulling her with him till she was on top, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and sat his chin on her head. 

“Baby- jesus, a little warning next time?”

“Couldn’t help it, instinct kicked in.”

She mumbled a protest but was soon laying her head on his chest, relaxing against him. Her breathing was soft and slow, soothing in all the best ways and Baby soon found himself struggling to keep his eyes open again. 

“Mm lets just have a lazy day, okay?”

She nodded softly, 

“Sounds amazing.”


	2. Chapter 2

His head was resting on her shoulder as he watched her twine the stems of the flowers into a perfect braid, each bloom coming after the next so the chain of flowers looked seamless. She had a talent for this stuff, and it never failed to amaze him, his gaze intent on learning her ways so maybe he could make something for her one day. 

She shifted and smiled at him the best she could from the angle, 

“Look here please?”

Moving to sit up, he faced her and quickly found himself falling again for how she looked with the crown of blue flowers braided into her black hair. It complimented her so well, the deep indigo hue making her features pop even more, the glimmer in her eyes to the dimples of her smile. 

She lifted a hand and grabbed the brim of his uniform hat, setting it gently next to him then returning her hand to fuss with the mess of brown hair on his head. When she deemed her work solid, she took the crown of black roses and gently set it upon his head. 

It fit perfectly, and she was proud of her work, it was rare she ever got to see him in anything else then the patrol cap. His cheeks flushed red, and she couldn’t stop the grin on her face. 

“You look good.” She said playfully as her hand found his that was nervously tugging at strand of grass and began to tangle their fingers together. 

“You look a lot better then I do.”

She let out a soft laugh and squeezed his hand softly, leaning forward she tilted her head down just enough to be level with him and caught his lips with her own. He froze for a moment before he was pressing into the kiss, tilting his head to angle it better. 

They held it for a few moments, the soft summer air like a gentle caress around them, ruffling their hair just slightly in its movement. 

When they pulled apart, he moved to rest his forehead against hers, his eyes shut as he mentally savored the way her presence eased everything he was feeling. 

“Can you teach me?”

She smiled again, grabbing a few of the plucked flowers from the basket at her side and setting them in her lap. 

“Sure, love.”


	3. Chapter 3

When the shower began, Baby had just lit the candle and placed it between him and Cat on top of the lid for the jar it was in. She had tapped his arm a few times a bit frantically, almost making him drop the lighter into the water. 

Turning his gaze up to the sky he watched as the stars flew across the expanse of the horizon in mesmerizing trails of light. The blue and green hues of space seeping into sight, giving a beautiful display of what the world looked like without loads of light pollution masking its natural energy. 

She was so fascinated by it all, her eyes wide and full of an untamed amazement. 

“You haven’t seen shooting stars before?” Baby mumbled as he pushed the candle away from being between them so he could scoot closer to her, careful to keep it a safe distance from the dress she had wore. 

“No! Not where I used to live at least.” Cat was shivering slightly, it was a bit colder out now and the soft breeze from the ocean didn’t help. Baby moved to pull off his black bomber jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders, then his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. 

Her gaze on the sky broke to turn to him, cheeks flushed red as her hands fidgeted in her lap nervously. 

“Well don’t look at me, your gonna miss the show.” He gave her a soft smile, and looked up to the sky again. Watching how two stars trailed one another till they disappeared across the clouds. 

“Do you wish on them?” Cat said it like she was asking him the most intimate question possible, shifting in his grasp to rest let her head lay on his shoulder. 

“Mhm, every single one.” It was true after all, he had a lot of things he wished for, some more priority then others in this very moment though. 

“Can I ask what you wish about or do you believe they won’t come true.” Cat had a hint of a laugh in her voice, probably suppressing it to see if sounding serious would get him to speak about it, he would have told her either way though. 

“Only wish I ever wanted to come true was being with you, everything else was just a day off work.” He mumbled softly, the hand on her side pulling her a bit closer to him as he broke his gaze from the sky to plant a kiss on her head. 

“You are such a loser sometimes oh my god.” 

“I’m your loser, angel.”


	4. Chapter 4

Baby was at the table tapping away at the keyboard on his laptop, he had been up surprisingly early for once to finish a list of reports for Nook, and the ferocity with which he jammed the Enter button was getting concerning. 

Cat however was having the time of her life mixing together the ingredients for the waffles she planned on making, the idea hitting her after the orchard not far from Baby’s house had begun yielding peaches, his favorite fruit and one she had come to love more herself. 

Whisking the batter in the bowl, She watched the waffle iron from the corner of her eye waiting for the light to turn green so she could start. 

Baby, from behind her, let out a yawn as he leaned back in the chair. His gaze gliding over to her and admiring how she looked in the apron that was much more for someone of his height. 

“You look cute in that.” 

“Flattering me won’t make me finish any faster.” 

She smiled to herself however at the quite grumbling of him at the table before he was back to abusing the poor laptop. 

As if on time, the light on the iron pinged green as she set the bowl down and opened it up, perfect. Closing it to keep it at temp, she grabbed the bowl and put its contents into a measuring cup to pour it out more easily. Then she re-opened the iron and began putting the mixture into the mold, shutting it and locking it closed she stepped aside and grabbed a plate from the cupboard. 

After a few moments the first waffle was done, Cat carefully removed it and sat it on the plate, proud of how good it looked. Fluffy and a perfect golden color, she truly was an artisan at her craft. 

After making a few more, she turned the iron off and moved over to the peaches sat on a cutting board, slicing them up neatly, she took the pieces and began to place them on top of the waffle stack neatly. She then took a can of whip cream from the fridge and put a large amount on top till she was satisfied with it. 

“Okay! all electric devices off or they get sold to the Nooks!” 

The laptop was audibly slammed shut, she smiled a bit to herself as she untied the apron and hung it on the cupboards handle. Picking up the plate she brought it over to the table, not missing the way Baby’s eyes opened in awe at the sight of the food. 

He truly was an actual baby sometimes. 

The plate was sat down and he was clearly restraining himself from digging in right then and there as he waited for her to go back to the kitchen and get her own plate. 

Cat came back, her own food in hand, sliding into the seat on the other side of the table she put her own plate down. 

“Ready to eat?”


	5. Chapter 5

Baby rested his head on her shoulder, letting the soothing motions of her hand rubbing soft slow circles into his back lull him to a blissful state of calm. The pounding in his head subsiding as he released his tight grip on the fabric of his sweatshirt, slowly extending his fingers and relaxing his muscles. 

The pain in his body drifted away bit by bit, Cat now humming a random song he had never heard before as another much appreciated method of distraction. These comedowns from intense moments were always a careful and gradual process, never too hasty and always considerate as possible. 

The way Cat was cautious when approaching him during a breakdown, the way she made a committed effort to regroup him and put his feet back on the ground. He honestly didn’t know how he would every thank her for it, and every part of him truly hoped every ounce of love he had for her was enough. 

“Just relax, okay? You’re perfectly safe here.”

Baby nodded softly, he turned his head to the side, doing his best to avoid wiping his tears off on her shirt. He distracted himself with the way her black hair curled at the base of her neck and how her eyes fluttered softly while she seemed zoned off into the distance. 

“I think I’m okay now.”

He muttered it with a hushed gentleness, as if not to reawaken the sleeping beast in the back of his mind. Oh how many years had passed and he still tamed this creature like some sick circus act, for nobody’s entertainment except whatever force kept making him relive all this. 

Cats hand slipped away from his back, her touch kind and sweet as her hands moved to rub his arms then made their way up to wipe the tears from his face. Her fingers sliding through the mess of brown hair hanging in his face, pushing it back away revealing the scars on his forehead that it hid. 

Secretly she wished he didn’t hide his face behind his hair, but she understood that everyone had their methods to their madness. 

“You think you’re okay to get up and go back to bed?”

Her touch left his head and found its way to his hands that rested idly in his lap, she grabbed them softly and gave them a loving squeeze. 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” 

“Let’s get some sleep, darling.”


	6. chapter 6

NEW TEXT MESSAGE  
——————————  
To: Cat <3

‘Uh...hey I hope this isn’t weird but can we talk or something when I’m home? I really miss you right now and idk I just wanna be with you instead of this shitty shift. Sorry if that sounds weird. I hope your nights been good.’

Baby locked the phone and dropped it back into the pocket on his vest, he knew Cat probably wouldn’t hate him or be weirded out by the message but he still never took his chances with it. They had gotten close over the past four months and he was beginning to realize that he may have gotten a bit more attached to her- uh- affection? Care? Whatever it was- then he originally intended too. 

Granted it’s not like he planned to care so much, it was strange enough having someone show genuine concern for him and that on top of him suddenly finding himself developing feelings himself? Maddening. Crossing his arms over his chest he leaned back on the fencing that surrounded the town hall, this shift was pulling far too long. 

Originally he would have been done by now, the sun long set over the ocean horizon and the moons light covering the island in a gentle white glow. Stars peaked out from behind the clouds, it would have been a good night for Celeste to come out but he knew she was picky on the weather. 

He sighed, zoning out for a moment before he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, steeling himself for the potential “what the hell is wrong with you?” message from Cat but instead got his usual message from Tom stating that his shift was done for the night. Ease washed over him as he stood up from his usual spot and began his walk to his house. 

The night was calm, wind picking up every now and then but not annoyingly, he could appreciate these moments when they lasted. A massive part of him also wondered if he could ever bother Cat to come out on a night like this with him. 

Hide house came into sight, deep hues of red and black that stood out strongly compared to all the other houses. The lights were still on from what he could see, maybe Cat was still up for some reason? Or possibly she fell asleep and forgot to shut them off, either or was fine as long as she was okay. 

He could feel himself growing mildly more tense as he reached for the doorknob, twisting it slowly only to jump back slightly when he opened the door to see Cat standing right in the hallway. 

“Oh! You’re back super late? Did something happen? I got your text and was pretty worried.” 

Her expression fell into a tiny frown and Baby could feel his heart sink, he didn’t like when she looked upset and he felt bad for causing her to be. When she moved aside for him to step in, he walked in and shut the door softly behind him. 

“I’m sorry Cat I really didn’t mean to worry you-“ 

He clicked the lock in place on the door and faced her, already feeling three times worse now. Her expression morphed into a soft smile, and then she was moving up and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into her embrace. 

“It’s okay, alright? You’re here now.”

Baby felt himself freeze up for a moment, mind racing about what to do. Him and Cat has hugged before sure, but for some reason this with the fact he was already extremely vulnerable after a shitty day, had him stumped on what to do. 

Internally disregarding every thought his mind gave him telling him to pull back, and reached to wrap his arms around Cat, pulling her close and standing up straight. She made a small noise of surprise when he lifted her off the ground slightly, shifting to stand on the toes of his boots as he hugged her tighter. 

“Just really wanted to see you so bad, I missed you so much.” 

He muttered it softly against her shoulder as he savored the moment as much as possible, he could live every day like this and be fully content. Cat let out a soft laugh, one of her arms slipping down so she could rub slow circles on his back, the way she always did when he couldn’t sleep. 

“I missed you too, Baby.”

Leaning back from his grasp slightly, she steadied herself as she cupped his face in her free hand, lifting his gaze to her own. 

“How about a hot shower and we can watch a movie?” 

He smiled, leaning forward and connecting his lips to hers as carefully as he possibly could. It was tender and peaceful, and he deeply wished he could convey all his love for her in these small bouts of affection. Pulling back, he peppered small kisses all over her face and down to her neck, smiling to himself when she began to laugh at the feeling. 

“Hahah okay I get it! Is that a yes then?” 

Her laugh was the sweetest thing he heard all night. 

In an instant he was reaching down and lifting her up in his arms, planting three more kisses on her cheek before starting to walk into the living room. 

“It most definitely is.”


	7. chapter 7

“Hey! Baby!”

Cats voice drew him out of his trance that he had just now realized he was actually stuck in. He had been on patrol for about four hours now, running off three energy drinks and the single protein bar she had tucked in his vest. 

Looking over he saw her making her way over to him, a small object wrapped in cloth in her hands. It was a deep blue, like the flower she usually wore in her hair, but it was currently vacant as she was in her PJs and was probably getting ready to go to bed like every other normal person at this house. 

So- why was she out right now?

“Hey, what are you doing out they late?”

He stood up straighter, always finding himself adjusting his posture to give off a more professional presence around her despite their usual antics between each other. That and he maybe overheard her say to someone that she thought he looked really ‘handsome’ when he was on the job. 

When she had made her way over, she held out the wrapped item to him, almost looking slightly embarrassed as she did so. 

“Ah, I heard you were going to be out late tonight so I thought I would bring you dinner.” 

Her cheeks flushed slightly, and he felt his own heat up as well at the idea of her actually bringing him food. Usually she just gave him small snacks she kept on her but- something she made? Damn this was a whole new ballpark. 

Reaching out, he took the food from her, able to feel it was still warm through the cloth wrapped around it, and sat it onto the bench behind him. Hesitation riddled him as he moved to reach a hand out, setting it on her shoulder gently. 

“Cat you really didn’t have to, I’m fine with eating when I’m home.” 

She looked almost taken aback by the statement, which didn’t shock him as she was usually very put off by his living habits, and lack of general self care. Crossing her arms over her chest she tilted her head slightly and masked an expression of careful concern. 

“I know that, I just figured it would be nice to do since you’ve been doing so much for me by letting me stay in your house and everything.”

He smiled softly, daring to let his hand slip down her arm and to rest on her elbow.

“Okay okay, I get it, thank you a lot for making it for me. But you don’t have to do anything for me, okay? I just want you to be happy.” 

The realization at what he just said sank in, and the anxiety was eating at him before he could even truly understand the fact he mildly just revealed something he had originally not planned too. 

Cat on the other hand seemed to perk up at this, her eyes a bit wider and corner of her mouth quirking into a small smile. 

“Well if that’s the conversation we are having, I want you to be happy too.”

Suddenly despite being outside he felt like he was burning up, his gaze averting from hers as he cleared his throat, readjusting himself to stand with his hands behind his back. He tried to distract himself with the bite of his nails in his palm but when Cats hand found its way on his face he couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

“Baby look at me.” 

She sounded so- open, like she had no fear in touching the most extreme of topics, at least they were extreme to him. He glanced back over to her and studied the way her bangs framed her face, and realized how extremely cute he found it. 

Come to think of it, he was becoming to feel more and more comfortable with the idea he found a lot of things about Cat to be quite adorable if he was being honest. The way she always matched her outfits to the flower in her hair, how she hummed when she watered flowers, the way she danced every time KK played a song she loved. 

There was so much stuff he could name off but her thumb rubbing the top of his cheek was becoming mildly distracting. 

“Cat I um- can I tell you something?”

He swallowed hard, gripping his own hand tighter behind his back as he tried to stay as focused as possible. 

“Of course!”

Nodding softly he closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. 

“This is hard for me to put into words because I can’t lie I haven’t been as close to someone as I am to you in a long time and it’s starting to get to the point that every day all I look forward too is seeing you and every single part of me wants to spend more time with you and learn more about you. I feel like it was some weird shitty type of luck that you ended up here and I’m sorry if that sounds awful and selfish cause I’m super positive you miss home but I- I really like you Cat, I really like-like you.” 

He braced himself for the rejection, knowing full well this was probably the stupidest idea he has had in years, and yet- he felt another hand come up to his shoulder and he was being pulled down to her level. 

“Hey dork, I love you too.”

When her lips connected with his it was like everything moved in slow motion. The way the cicadas buzzed so loudly now sounded so faint and dull in the back of his mind, all he could feel was the way she moved closer to him and tilted her head to angle herself better. 

Gaining some ability to control himself again, he let his eyes fall shut, hands coming to her arms as he pulled her closer and pressed into the kiss. All he wanted was to remember this exact moment as vividly as possible every day of his life, it’s like he could feel the years of isolating and denying himself anything start to crack. 

Cat pulled back for air, her checks flushed a deep red and a smile on her face. She looked like she thoroughly wanted to do that, and Baby couldn’t lie to himself he also truly wanted it. 

“Believe me now?”

Feeling the emotions well back inside him again, he pulled her back to him kissing her cheeks, nose, forehead, every since of her till she was wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his neck. 

“I love you so much.”

The words felt so foreign to him, something he had not said in a long time, but now for once he could say them again and acutely savor the weight they carried. Standing here in the night with her in his arms he could finally feel the calm serendipity of pure loving energy flowing into him. 

“And I’ll always love you, okay?”

“Okay.”


	8. Chapter 8

Baby brushed Cats hair gently, making sure not to let the brush catch on it and tug it harshly like his mom used to do to his. The long black locks cascaded over her shoulders like a deep ocean, she looked so amazing when she let it down like this and part of him wished she left it down more, but that wasn’t her request for today with what they had planned. 

Setting the brush down onto the couch next to him, he grabbed a few hair ties and slipped them over his wrist before taking three separate sections of hair in his hands. He weaved them together slowly, paying mind so the braid looked neat as he started from one of her temples and worked around the back of her head to the next. 

Taking one of the bands, he tightened the end of the braid in its hold and then started tucking it away from sight with some Bobby pins. 

“Any specific flower you want today, love?” 

He muttered as he fiddled with the braid, tugging some of the locks slightly loose for a more “carefully messy” look. 

“Wind flower please?” 

She said it absentmindedly as she focused on the needle she was pulling through the fabric of his work shirt, mending a rip that was obtained from trying to get Miranda’s hat out of a tree. 

Turning over to the basket of fresh flowers Cat always brought over with every trip she made to his house, he slid aside the many roses and cosmos to find the blue windflowers lovingly bundled in the corner of the basket. Pulling them out and setting them on his lap, he pulled them out one by one from the bunch and snapped the stem to an appropriate length before tucking and weaving them into the braid. 

He put about six in total before he was satisfied with the outcome, bundling up the rest of the flowers and setting them back into the basket. 

“You’re all done, hon. I need to go get dressed.” 

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, careful to avoid the style. She hummed her reply and turned her head so she could plant a kiss on his cheek quickly before he stood up. 

“I should be done when your ready~” 

He smiled and nodded as he walked into his room. 

***

Stepping inside, he removed his pajama shirt and shorts, dropping them into the hamper by his bed then made his way over to his wardrobe. They had planned to go on a date to the museum today so he should at least try to find something nice to pair well with the dress cat had worn. 

Rummaging through the clothes he settled on a pair of black jeans, a red button up, and his nice pair of black converse. Not crazily over the top but the shirt in itself was flashy enough with the red silk catching the slight just the right way. 

Getting dressed, he did his best to style his hair despite its usual tendency to return to its natural state of permanent mess, and then put on the cologne Cat had mentioned she liked a lot. Glancing at himself in the mirror he deemed himself good to go and flicked off the lights to his room before stepping back out to the living room. 

Cat had apparently finished as she said she would and was tucking her sewing materials away into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder and turning to face him. Her eyes scanned him before a warm smile graced her features. 

“That’s more like it- but I have to say I would have loved to see you wear the pink shorts out in public.” 

He rolled his eyes and laughed softly “I don’t know, you think you’d be okay with all the attention I would be receiving if I did that?” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, nobody gets the honor of knowing ‘Officer Baby’ wears booty shorts but me.” 

He laughed harder this time as he shoved his house keys into his pocket and slid his arm around her waist as she walked over to him. 

“Enough about me and my clothing choices, we have a date.”


	9. Chapter 9

Baby wiped his hands on his pants and took a deep breath, the weight of the ring box in his pocket was hard to ignore as he watched Cat run into the large field of flowers. She was in a deep blue dress that looked perfect on her in the way the light was shining down onto the silk fabric. They had been together for two years now and a big part of him felt that this question was becoming harder to ignore with every milestone they met. 

She truly captivated him and lifted him out of a place he never expected to climb from, she made him see the world in another light and continued to be the source of his desire to continue his growth and appreciation for life itself. It was like nothing he ever imagined after all he had been though, to meet someone that shook his world in ways he forgot were possible. 

Smiling to himself he stepped forward off the stairs that led down into the field, the wind picking up for a moment and rustling the cacophony of colorful petals to life and even lifting some into the air. 

Cat was occupied with observing the fountain in the center of it all, her hands neatly clasped behind her back as her eyes marveled in awe at it. She walked around it in a slow circle, studying the way the iron was shaped into intricate patterns and the way the water seamlessly spilled over it. 

Baby made his way over slowly to join her by it, stuffing his hands in his pockets he gripped the box tightly. He had spent weeks deciding on the ring, from cut to color he mulled over every possible option before settling on one that he finally thought would be absolutely perfect for her, the way the blue gems were set in the silver to form the shape of a small flower, it was maddeningly perfect. 

"You really hid this from me for a whole month just to surprise me?"

Her voice pulled him free from his mind as he looked over to see her smiling up at him, her cheeks dusted a light sweet pink that hinted the barely there freckles on the apples of her cheeks. His heart was beating hard now but he ignored it and nodded in reply as he stepped a bit closer to her, pulling his empty hand free to wrap his arm around her and pull her tight against him. 

"Wanted it to be really special for you." 

He let his eyes slip shut for a moment as he savored the sensations of the moment, her arms wrapping around his torso not going unnoticed but the feeling only amplified by the intense swell of pure love in his mind at the moment. 

"But it's not the whole reason I dragged you out here."

Cat pulled back from the embrace slightly, moderate confusion on her face. 

"So what else did you have in mind?"

The question was sweet and anyone who was aware of what he had in mind would almost be able to appreciate the clueless innocence in the way she spoke. He smiled, stepping back and letting his grip on the ring box tighten as his gaze moved to follow the expanse of flowers dancing in the wind. 

“There’s no way I could ever honestly put into words what being with you has been like. The way I’ve slowly been able to become someone I never thought I could ever be again after everything that happened, and how I never thought I would be able to find someone who would be able to teach me I don’t have to keep living my life in such a dull light,” 

He could feel his heart racing again, eyes doing their damndest to keep focused on one particular thing as he steeled himself to keep going. 

“...maybe it was meant to happen, the universe does funky shit for the sake of the bigger picture. But like, every part of me likes to think I was supposed to meet you and I was supposed to get out of my old shitty cycle of self loathing and isolation all for you.”

“Baby what are you getting at?”

There was a new sliver of nervousness in her voice. 

“Cat, I’ve been waiting for weeks to ask you this and I truly hope that even though my way of asking isn’t crazy or over the top that it can slightly convey how important this is and how much you mean to me.” 

He turned to her, their gazes locking like two cosmic puzzle pieces and in that moment it all felt so right. Like his body moved on autopilot as he pulled the box from his pocket and bent down onto one knee his eyes not missing the way her face moved to express confusion, realization, and then surprise all in a matter of seconds. 

“Cat, with all my heart and everything I have beyond that it would mean so much to me if I could have you with me for the rest of what lives we make for ourselves on this island.”

The box was displayed, dark blue velvet a color akin to deep space in the suns direct lighting. 

“Will you marry me?” 

Her mouth opened for a moment, hands lifting from where they were at her side now shaking slightly as they moved to cup around the ring box as if to confirm it’s existence. 

“Baby...Gavin...oh my god- yes you idiot yes!” 

She fell down to his level, her arms coming around him so fast he could hardly close the box quick enough so the ring wasn’t knocked out and lost. He could feel the wetness of tears that had been on her cheeks as she buried her face against his neck and became acutely aware of the tears dripping down his own face. 

The overwhelming sense of internal peace. 

The undeniable feeling of love.


	10. Chapter 10

Baby rested his head on Cats shoulder and wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. The atmosphere was calm, bountiful in the everlasting peace he always searched for in her presence. Her hands danced across the fabric of his shirt that covered his arms till they found their way to the shoulder straps of the safety vest he wore and grabbed on loosely. She hummed a soft tune he never heard from her before, using her embrace to rock them slowly side to side. 

He could feel the subsiding of the cacophony in his mind, like the tide pulling back into the ocean with the grace of a hurricane. He took a breath, it was slightly shaken and it caused a few more tears to fall free from onto the top of her dress, his eyes focused on watching the fabric change from a light blue to a deep navy. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

His voice was weak and he didn’t like it, but there was nothing to do about it. 

“It’s okay, what matters is you understand what you did wrong.” 

She spoke softly against the nape of his neck, her sight trained on the sky, watching stars streak across the its expanse and clouds on the horizon beginning to obscure the display. 

“I couldn’t leave you.”

Another breath, more tears. 

The feeling swelled again in the pit of his stomach, like he could feel it coming up and into his chest to grip his heart tightly and leave a dull ache. He swallowed hard, it hurt but it allowed him to force back another sob that threatened to breach. 

“I will never leave you either.” 

Like a flood breaking down a damn it all cut loose in that moment, everything he held back so strongly now free as he pulled her as close as possible. She let him go down to the ground, moving a hand to take off his hat and set it on the ground so she could wind her fingers into his hair, shushing him softly. 

He felt her hand come under his chin, lifting him to face her despite a brief few words of protest from him. She could see the way his cheeks flushed red, eyes bloodshot and the bags under them looking more prominent from the tears that coated his cheeks. She slipped her hand up and used her thumb to wipe off a rouge tear that slid down. 

“I love you, Gavin.” 

“I love you too.”


	11. chapter 11

He swallowed hard, readjusting his hands behind his back out of nervous habit as he tipped his head lower, letting the brim of his hat give more cover to his scanning eyes. He could feel it in the back of his mind, the untamable- almost primal desire to search. 

to find h e r 

It was like he lost senses for everything else going on around him, the only thing left functioning was his heart that was already beating faster in his chest- and his eyes flicking around the landscape from every bush to every house. 

where was she?

The wind picked up again, and there it was in the corner of his sight, a shade of blue that didn’t quite melt into the color of the sky. It was darker, more muted, almost similar to the fabric of his uniform but that blue could never compare to this one. 

This one was h e r blue

She was stepping out of the museum, probably had to donate some stuff to that fucking owl. He swallowed, grip tightened on his wrist, nails biting the skin there causing him to hiss slightly to himself. She looked amazing, the dress complimenting her so well and the sweater as well. Her hair looked amazing and so did the flower tucked neatly into it. 

every part of him was screaming to walk over to her. 

to f e e l her 

She tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and flashed a smile to that damn bird that never backed down with his incessant comments. She rounded the corner and when their gazes met he felt his stomach flip, his pulse picking up, heart pounding so hard he could hear it. It’s like the heat of the sun was now cruel and cold and it doused him in ice water. 

Her eyes were dark as she looked into him- it was like he could feel her combing though his soul and mind- picking apart everything he ever thought.

The corner of her mouth lifted into a smirk, it’s effects working directly on him in a matter of seconds. Like in some trance he didn’t notice how close she was till she was right in front of him, her hand coming up and starting to toy with the strap of his vest. 

Like on autopilot he moved and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, almost dizzy at the feeling of just feeling her. Soft, warm, alive and right in front of him. He slipped his thumb under her wrist, pressing the pad of his finger to the vein that laid below the skin in search of a pulse- maybe if he was focused enough he could try and gauge her for once. 

“And who said you could touch me?”

He muttered it low under his breath, trying to mock a face of distaste but unable to fully correctly convey the emotion. 

“I could say the same to you, Officer.” 

Soft and sweet, she knew how to talk around him. She knew what syllables to drag out and what annunciations struck him in just the right way and had him hanging on her words. 

“You know you can’t keep playing these games with me every day, angel.” 

Her smile was wider, her pulse remained calm as she slipped her wrist free from his grasp to slide her hand up from his shoulder to the back of his neck, fingers toying with the hair that laid there. 

“Do you plan on doing something about it, Baby?” 

He swallowed hard and steeled himself further, whole body tense at the way those fingers deftly ran across the skin of his neck. Every part of him was screaming to lean into the touch, tilt his head to the side to make more room for her to come just the smallest bit closer and do just as she pleased. 

he felt dizzy again. 

And with that she was pulling away entirely, laughing to herself as she skipped a few paces away before turning to face him. A devious look on her face as she raised her hand, between her fingers was the badge to his uniform, the gold glinting in the sun. 

“Cat, give it back.” 

She laughed again, waving the pin in front of herself before moving to slip her cardigan aside and hook the pin onto her dress right over her heart. 

“And wheres the fun in that, honey?” 

He sneered slightly, nodding and moving to refold his hands behind his back, fingers gripped tightly on the fabric of the scarf of hers that he had plucked from her cardigans pocket. It was soft on his skin, not as soft as her but it was close enough. 

“I guess i’ll give you that one.”


	12. chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please don’t kill me for this djfjdkcjf

He leaned forward, palm of his hand connected with the brick of the building, it felt cold and it did very little to tug him out of this trance. She was in front of him, a coy smile on her face that looked artfully practiced and perfected for this very moment. He wouldn’t be surprised if she did just that- and he mildly humored the idea of her in the mirror practicing all the little expressions she could use on him. 

His free hand moved from where it hung at his side, snaking it’s way around her waist to pull her closer to him. The feeling of her body against him sent his mind racing in a cacophony of sensation that he could hardly fathom for the moment, the overwhelming desire to just touch her and feel every inch of her. 

he was starving for the contact. 

He dropped his head down, letting it rest on her shoulder, and took a long deep breath. The scent of her perfume intoxicated him, sent him so beyond his own reaches that if it wasn’t for the fact he knew that she wore so much of it for him on purpose he would think he was fucking crazy. 

“I need you so bad.”

His grip on her tightened and he couldn’t ignore the feeling of her hands moving up his sides to maneuver their way around his neck, hands interlocking there to keep him in place. She hummed softly, some form of a siren song to him as she pressed herself into his hold on her, tilting her head slightly she let her mouth hover only centimeters from his ear. 

“I know, Baby~”

He shuddered at the feeling of her breath against his ear, it set his skin on fire and he found himself leaning more into her. She was moving again, her lips connected with the exposed skin of his neck and he let out a gasp in response- it however slowly bled into a sigh as she began to mark the skin softly. 

He tightened his grip on her again, letting himself fall forward slightly and causing his forearm to slam against the brick wall as he lost his control momentarily, the sensations from her lips against his neck making his head spin in a dizzying pace. She however wasn’t phased, gently slipping one hand to the opposite side of his face and encouraging him to allow her more room. 

And he did just that, little to no hesitation in his actions as he let his eyes fall shut, becoming wholly entranced by the feeling. His heart was racing in his chest, arm that held him up shaking slightly while his other was holding her so tightly he was sure it had to be mildly suffocating, he pressed his lips together doing his most to silence himself till she finally pulled back. 

A satisfied him left her mouth he assumed her to be examining her work. He didn’t care how obvious the mark was or how hard it would be to hide it till it eventually faded as all the others did- it was from her. She put it on him as a way to remind him that she was in fact very, very real, and that she can and will prove that to him whenever the need arose. 

He let his grip around her go lose, and she carefully slipped out of it to lean herself shading the wall, the same sly smile from earlier now strung across her expressions once again. 

“I need you too.”


	13. chapter 13

His eyes were shut, head tilted back and resting against the wall as she pressed open mouthed kisses from his shoulder to his jaw, occasionally biting here and there but not hard enough to break the skin. 

He was tired, overly exhausted from a long patrol that dipped into the early hours of the morning. The serene peace of the moons light on Belladera now replaced with the first muted beams of sunlight, its yellow glow currently gleaming into her bedroom window and caressing her skin to give it a golden glow. 

His heart was pounding, the feeling of her being those close was always mildly overwhelming, and it made him hyper aware of all her little mannerisms and seemingly calculated choices. The way she shifted herself farther into his lap the gain better access to the overly sensitive patch of skin below his ear. 

Her hands smoothed the fabric of his partly unbuttoned work shirt across his chest, the fabric now saturated with the scent of her. And he knew she loved it, and he loved it too, he could drown in it for all he cared. He slipped his own hand up her thigh slowly, her skin soft under the calloused skin of his palm, feeling akin to silk. He rested it on her hip, massaging slow circles into the skin there, silently registering every curve of her in his mind. 

The soft intimacy of the moments like this were something he could never quite get enough of. The gentle fondness in the way that when it was just the two of them- the power of their shared desire to be close was undeniable. The incessant need to possess and to crave every inch of one another wove itself deep into every word they spoke. 

He craved to hold her in his arms and admire every inch of her and would let her do the same with no hesitation. 

“I just want to be yours.” 

He said it softly, his eyes opening momentarily to gauge her reaction which shifted between genuine confusion to intense realization. She looked up to him, her eyes scanning him as if waiting for him to drop some non existent punchline but he simply smiled and let her hold his gaze as long as she needed. 

“Are you sure about that?”

Her voice was soft as it always was in times like this- it’s usual hint of passive aggressive play utterly void from its tone. 

“As sure as I’ve ever been about anything.”

He leaned down, and pressed his lips to hers softly. It made his heart pick up its rapid pace once again, and his head was having a hard time staying focused, things like this were always so dizzying for him. And yet, when she pressed back into the kiss he found himself tilting his head more to allow for the her to deepen it, and she did just that. 

Her hand came to caress his face, his own moving more to roam her body, like magnets they found themselves at the small of her back to pull her closer into his orbit. He leaned back again into the pile of pillows at the headboard and pulled her down with him, both making sure not to break the kiss just yet till she was coming up for air. 

“Then I want to be all yours too.” 

“I would love nothing more.”


	14. chapter 14

Baby shoved his hands into his pockets and tried focusing on the flashing of Christmas lights strung up haphazardly on a tree outside Lolly’s house. The rainbow hues almost but not quite distracting enough from the feeling of numbness setting into his finger tips as the wind picked up momentary. 

Biting his bottom lip he closed his eyes and went ridged till the gust subsided, the uncomfortable feeling of more snowflakes slipping down the back of his collar made him inwardly cringe and have to bite back a disgusted groan as he returned to his usual stance. 

He locked his hands behind his back tightly- he needed to just bite the bullet and suck it up. He’d been in worse, in much less clothing, for much longer amounts of time then one shitty patrol. He needed to just- be professional about it. Yeah. Just maintain his bearing and ignore any outside distractions the best he could. 

-

Easier said then done. 

Not even halfway into the final hour and he was shaking way worse then before, his eyes watering as he fought to hold back tears that tried so hard to get free. His own discomfort was impossible to ignore now as he let out a shaken breath and curled his fists back into his coat pockets again trying to maintain the smallest amount of feeling in them. 

“Baby?”

He snapped his gaze up to see her standing there, long blue trench coat wrapped tightly around her and the bright red of the scarf she wore stood out drastically in the contrast of the lights and snow. Baby swallowed hard and readjusted himself to look more steady before tipping his head down slightly then looking back up to her. 

“H-hey Cat, what are you doing out so late?”

He mentally punched himself for the brief stutter and falter in his voice before clearing his throat and trying to stop himself from shaking more as she walked closer. 

“Oh, well I just figured I wanted to see the decorations at night since I haven’t really had the chance yet. However I didn’t expect they would have you out working on Christmas Eve?”

She kicked her boot into the snow that was in a pile around his feet, formed from his own shuffling around. Sighing to himself he glanced over at the giant tree lit up proudly in the center of the island and then let his gaze drift back to Cat who was still preoccupied with destroying small snow mounds with her boot. 

“Nook wanted someone to watch the tree, g-guess people were moving th-the gifts.” 

Just fucking talk normally, he shouted to himself in his head. But his resolve was crumbling as he found himself starting to shake again and the growing feeling of discomfort racking his body again, eyes watering slightly as a result. 

“Baby, are you okay?”

He snapped his attention back to her and let out a nervous laugh as he blinked rapidly trying to hide any evidence. 

“Y-yeah! As fine as I’ll ever be. Just a little cold but n-nothing I cant handle.” 

He watched her expression become one of doubt, before she was moving and pulling the scarf off herself and moving to wrap it around his neck. Raising a hand he caught her arm and stopped he as she was tying it in the front. 

“N-no cat you don’t have too, if you’re gonna be out I want you to have it.”

She laughed softly and smiled before tugging the fabric securely around his neck, then tucking it down the front of his coat. 

“I won’t be out very long, besides, it was for you anyways. Made it last night.” 

If his face wasn’t already flushed deeply from the cold it was burning hot now from his nose to his ears. She made this for him? And in his favorite color too? If it wasn’t for the fact he would probably snap from moving too fast he would have pulled her into a hug. Instead he let go of her wrist and gave her a weak smile. 

“T-thank you, angel.”

“You’re welcome, Gavin.”


	15. chapter 15

He swallowed and let his eyes glance around the room, it was a weak attempt to avoid her gaze. He could feel the unease rolling off her in waves and all he wanted to do was soothe it, give her some form of reassurance that could ease her mind. 

“Cat I just, I need you to understand that I don’t dislike you for what you feel. I may not show it to the same degree as you, and I might be more inclined to hide it unless you initiate it first, but in no way does that mean I dislike when you show it.” 

He looked to her and watched the way she toyed with the hem of her dress with one hand, the other one drawing circles in the fabric of his bedsheets. The room was mildly cold, and he could tell it was bothering her, every part of him wanted to just wrap her in warmth but he hesitated doing to much. 

“You don’t hurt me, you have never truly hurt me. The way you are so attached it- it makes me feel so wanted and loved and cared for that I don’t know how to respond sometimes. That doesn’t mean it’s bad though, no matter the depth of it.” 

She nodded idly, and he took it as some form of registration to his words, but he wished for more. He was bad at this, so bad at conveying what he really felt, and it made him just wish there was some way he could fully let her see into his mind. 

He wanted her, every inch of her that he could have, in whatever way it was that he could have it. His heart pounded in his chest at just the thought of her, and it raced even more when she was around. He was infatuated with every little thing about her from her smile to her laugh to the way her hair looked when she first woke up. 

He saw something fierce in her, and he wanted to let it overtake him. He wanted to let her pull him apart to the most fine details and see whatever it was that she needed to see in order to believe him and his devotion. On the flip side of it he couldn’t deny the feeling that arose in him toward her when he imagined her around other people. 

The desire to have her as his and only his, the want to know only he saw this side of her. Only he knew how she truly felt, and vice versa. He wanted to have her fully to himself despite how selfish it sounded, he wanted her to know that no matter what he was fully hers. 

“I just- I want nothing more then to be with you. To be yours.” 

She seemed to perk at the idea like he had snared her attention momentarily. 

“I don’t think that’s what you really want.” 

It felt like a bullet to the chest but he shrugged it off fast, after all he was nothing if he wasn’t resilient. Nervously biting at his bottom lip for a moment he reached out and slid his hand over hers that had stopped it anxious tracing on the bed, and gripped it tightly. 

“Cat I wish you would believe me when I tell you it that I don’t hate you for the intensity at which you feel the stuff you do. I love it, and- and a part of me craves it. Needs it almost. Needs to feel it and wants to feel it only from you. I don’t want anyone else to have me the way you do and I don’t want anyone else to have you the way I do.” 

Take another breath, hold her hand tighter. 

“I want to be yours. I want you to be mine. In whatever way it’s possible that is the way I want it.” 

His head was spinning, heart racing in his chest. If only there was a way he could better show it to her, at times like this words felt so weightless, like they could never ever give any amount of merit to his wants. 

If only she saw the way he wore the stuff she gave him as often as possible, reread their conversations countless times and saved the messages she sent that were particularly affectionate- read them till he memorized them. If she could see the way he wanted had a hard time maintaining his usual front when they were around other people. 

From every picture to every text sent at some ungodly hour of the night he fell deeper and wanted to be totally submerged in it. She did nothing wrong, she encouraged nothing, she swayed nothing, he fell fully on his own and as more time passed he found more and more comfort in the idea.

He found serenity in the idea of having someone so deeply desiring for him, he found peace in knowing for once he would never have to question the validity of someone’s love. He wanted it to cover him like a blanket and surround him fully, to just take control when he no longer could anymore. Where he faltered she lifted and he wanted to do the same. 

“I need you, fully, or as fully as I can have you.” 

He leaned forward and rested his head against hers, letting his eyes fall shut he moved her hand to his chest, pressing it right over his heart and holding it firmly in place. 

“I need you to just take me- please. It’s all i want, and I need it now more then ever. Just let me be yours.” 

The words felt heavy, the first ones with some real weight. He was finding more and more he desired get to take control more and more, it was a growing obsession to be so deeply wanted. To be possessed by someone but not as an object, no, she never treated him like that. He was always a person in her eyes, but the level of possessiveness she directed toward him struck a nerve that hadn’t been hit in a long time. 

Not in a bad way either, it lit something in his heart that had been once snuffed out due to never receiving any attention. It was so strong now, and it burned greater when he thought of how badly he wanted her, how he wanted to just have her heart as his and his only. To be the first person she wanted to talk to in the morning to the last person she spoke to at night. 

He wanted to hold her so tightly and shower her in every inch of his affection, he wanted to be so submerged in her he could nearly forget where he ended and where she began. To be one with someone was- a startling but impossible to ignore thought that moved closer and closer to the front of his mind. 

Small things like seeing her in his clothes, ted nail polish and lipstick that drove him wild, her eyes, her hair, the scent of her perfume, the way she wrote her name, and the way she never feared to show passion for what she loved. 

He was fully infatuated with her from start to finish. 

It didn’t feel innocent anymore. 

“I hope you see one day how deeply I feel and how badly I want you despite how much my words fail me.” 

She simply pressed her hand harder to where he held it and moved to slide into his embrace, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. 

“I hope you see too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope it makes sense


	16. chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope this helps, sorry for any typos

Max smiled as she stepped out in the dress, it looked great on her- honestly better then he expected. She had the form for these kinds things and part of him hoped he could help her branch out of her comfort zone a bit more to be more willing to wear this stuff without him badgering her into it. 

She still looked unhappy, it was obvious in the way her mouth remained hardest and her eyes overly scrutinizing as she turned around in the mirror to get a good look at herself. 

Gavin had- not been the best lately and Max picked up on it fast. The two of them were practically on the same wavelength at most times so the slightest difference in the other mans demeanor was enough to tell Max all he needed to know. 

It could be a variety of things at this point, Gavin was less and less prone to be descriptive with what was eating at him anymore. Sometimes it was the Army, other times it was his worry that he wasn’t amounting to be what Cat needed from him, whatever they rhyme or reason it was becoming increasingly frequent. 

Max however wanted to support him, but he couldn’t ignore the way Cat was being affected. Her deep love for the other man was clear in all she did for him, and the way Gavin seemed to be consumed in his head more and more these days was taking its toll on her. His path to growth started unfortunately with him facing the realities of what he had been through and letting it go one by one- but his execution wasn’t solid. 

She however did massive amounts of work to hide the effects it had, but Max being he was with undeniable years of being trained to read people expertly saw right through it. It started when he stopped by their shared apartment to see if either of them was up for dinner, most of the time both of them were no strangers to the amazing places Max knew around here and rushed to join but this time- that wasn’t the case. 

When he stepped inside the energy was immediately off, the lights dimmed down and the curtains on every window drawn. The place looked how it did before Cat moved in- empty and drained. He shut the door behind himself and rounded the corner of the hall that led into the living room when he was greeted with the sight of Cat sitting on the couch, her head in her hands as she let out an overly restrained sob. 

Some instinct of him kicked in that usually only happened when he saw Gavin in such a way, and in seconds he was next to her, his arm around her and pulling her against his chest. She didn’t protest or fight it thankfully, Gavin being more prone to shove Max away at first. Her hands twisted in the fabric of his shirt and her face buried against his shoulder as she finally let lose. 

It was painful, and it made the ex-marines heart lurch in his chest, it hurt him deeply to see her like this. She was in a sense a sister to him, she quickly found a spot in his life and he enjoyed it a lot. He loved seeing her and Gavin happy, and he loved knowing she could be a positive force in Gav’s life when Max couldn’t. 

This time was off though. 

“Cat what’s going on?”

He softened his voice the best he could, the way he would talk to a POW or a kid who just got hurt. Slipping a hand down he brushed her bangs back from her face and gave her room to breath. The inhale she took was shuddering, her eyes clouded and focused off in the distance, one hand came up to wipe away the tears from her face before she took another breath. She held it for a moment and swallowed before exhaling again more stead this time. 

“Gavin he- I just. It’s too much for me right now. It’s like I try and I try but he’s always just so- so pessimistic. So empty.” 

Ah. He knew that all too well. Taking a breath himself he slipped his arm down to rub her back slowly while she composed herself the best she could. 

“Where is he right now?” Max muttered softly. 

“Ah um, he’s in our room. Said he was just going to go to sleep- I don’t have it in me to go check on him.” 

Max nodded, Gavin was prime to distance when he found himself going to far. Be it out of fear that he will continue to escalate things or some other reason- he would disconnect and hope it helped somehow. In some ways it did, Cat was clearly beyond anything Gavin could repair and Max felt at this time it was better he intervened for both of their sake. 

“He’ll be fine, send him a text and tell him you’re going out with me, wanna get you out of the house for a bit. Some time apart won’t hurt anyone.” 

She hesitated for a moment before swallowing and nodding, lifting her phone from her lap with still shaking hands she typed a message and hit send. Maxs eyes quick enough to catch the “I love you, sorry, have a good time.” in reply from the other man. If he wasn’t so close to Gavin and if it wasn’t for the fact he had been in the mans same shoes he would almost be bitter- but it wasn’t his place. 

“W-where are we going?” 

She wiped at her face again before putting her phone back down and pulling the fabric of Gavins hoodie tighter around herself. Max stood, trying his best to feign a smile. 

“Dinner! But let’s get you something more fitting for what I have in mind.”

-

Now here they were, she turned to look at him from over her shoulder before walking over to him. Her hand over her chest and one over her lower back probably to try and conserve a bit of her modesty. 

“Max it’s- it’s pretty but it’s way too much for me.” 

He eyes averted his gaze, only making him smile wider as he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“You look great in it though!” 

“Max, cmon, no. It’s too much.” 

He felt his resolve weaken but he didn’t want her to give up on it. She looked stunning, and for what it was worth he didn’t know anyone else who could pull something so daring off, not even himself if he was willing to harm his own ego momentarily. 

“Cat please, just give it a chance for me?” 

She seemed to mull over it before sighing and rolling her eyes, the previously killed excitement in his system now bouncing back once again. 

“Fine. Just this once.” 

Letting out a laugh he pulled her into a tight hug and smiled as wide as he could.

“Thank you!” 

He caught the sound of a brief laugh from her before she was patting his back. 

“Yeah yeah, don’t get too excited now.” 

-

When they got to the restaurant it was pretty clear how many people noticed the both of them, stares coming left and right as they stepped inside. It was a pretty upscale place, one Max has been saving to maybe suggest Gavin to take Cat but- that would just have to be scrapped for now. 

He could see she was getting visibly uncomfortable and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him as they waited for the waiter to grab their menus and take them to their seats. 

“Just relax, Kitty. I got ya okay? You know I won’t let anything happen.” 

He face flushed but she nodded and steeled herself again, her vice grip on the strap of her bag easing slightly as she leaned into his hold. 

-

Dinner went well, he managed to get a few drinks in her and the laughs were pouring out now as they sat on the bench of the park the three of them usually hung out at. She had a bit more of a glow to her now, her eyes crinkled with joy as she let another laugh out as Max finished telling her yet another deployment story. 

“So uh- not to kill the energy but just asking, do you think you’re gonna be okay for the night?” 

She let the laugh die out slowly before she focused her gaze on the pond in front of them. He could feel the slight anxiousness rising back to the surface and momentarily regretted asking the question. 

“I just- I guess I just need time. I let myself get so consumed in helping him I forgot I also needed to take care of myself as well.”

Max nodded, hands fumbling with the pack of cigarettes in his chest pocket as he tapped one out and placed it between his lips. Removing his lighter he flicked it a few times before the flame consumed the tip of the cigarette. 

Inhaling the smoke till it filled every inch of space it could, be held it before blowing it out away from their directions. 

“Gavins- he’s quite the character.”

He hesitated again but went on. 

“I’m not going to defend his bullshit, god knows I’ve knocked more sense into him then anyone else but he just- he really loves you Cat. Deep down I know that sad son of a bitch is fully whipped and would take a bullet for you.” 

Moving his free arm out he wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled her close. She didn’t fuss but rather laid her head on his chest. 

“He’s a dumbass but he will get better, I’m not sure of much but I’m sure of that. Maybe not today or tomorrow but he will get better he just needs to learn not every single thing in life is always so fuckin awful.” 

She let out a small laugh and it reassured him that at least she was still mildly cheerful. 

“Do you think I’m doing enough?”

Max scoffed, taking another puff from the cigarette and flicking the ashes onto the ground. 

“You’re doing far more then that fucker deserves sometimes if I’m being frank. But yes, you are doing just fine. Never ever let his bullshit be the reason you question your own abilities.” 

She nodded softly. 

“I just- I want to see him happy and I want to be there for him and see him enjoying life. I know he wants to do things and live happily, but it seems like three steps forward- six steps back.” 

Max nodded again, he was all to familiar about it. He knew people like that back in the marines, sad motherfuckers who really only treated every mission like if they died at least the died “trying” when really that wasn’t the cause at all. It irritated him, the blatant disregard for ones life out of some form of self imposed pessimism and the neglect of the idea that even if you didn’t care what happened to you other people still did. 

“He’s going to learn Cat, either because I smacked some sense into him for because he finally unplugs his ears and actually hears you for once.”

Flicking the ash’s from the cigarette again and taking another draw, he tightened his hold on her. 

“He won’t give up this time, I don’t think the kid could handle another fall like the Army and he knows it. He’s scared of it, and that fear of losing everything all over again powers him to just brute force shit when he can but it also makes him so annoyingly blind to what it does to you and sometimes even me.”

She hummed in agreement, her hand now playing with the watch on Max’s wrist. 

“I don’t want to give up on him, I don’t plan on it. But I just need him to see that he can’t keep doing this anymore and ignoring how I feel, I’m not some stress reliever immune to pain. Every single thing he feels I feel on the same degree if not slightly more.” 

“And that’s where he fucks up, he’s not used to someone else so deeply feeling the same things he does. He’s if anymore more inclined to believe that nobody understands what he’s going through and that when he spills all his emotions that it does nothing to the person he’s saying it too.”

She was silent for a moment before sighing and sitting up. 

“What should I do?”

To be honest he didn’t know, for once in his life he truly didn’t know. But what he did know was that wasn’t what she needed to hear right now. 

“Take care of yourself, you always come first despite anything. I know how much you love him but I need you to know that nothing matters more then the love you have for yourself,” 

Dropping the new finished cigarette on the ground he stomped it out with the heel of his boot.

“...And don’t for one second think it’s wrong for you to feel the way you do right now. Nobody is immune to anything, even I cracked like this once because of him and I had to face the fact that it won’t always be me that helps him back up. You’ve done more for him in a few months then Ive done for that jackass in years.” 

She nodded again, shifting how she sat to lean her head back onto his chest. 

“But he’s growing, slowly and annoyingly slowly at that- but he’s growing. If you could see the dumb ass smile he gets on his face when you call him, or how he blabs about you nonstop when we are at work. Sometimes I wonder if giving him coffee every day is making it worse.” 

To that she laughed slightly and turned her face to bury it more against his chest. He smiled and wrapped both his arms around her, resting his chin on her head as he let his eyes slip shut. 

“You’re doing just fine, Cat. And I couldn’t be happier that he has someone like you to be there for him.” 

He could feel it in his heart, the swell and the slight strain in his voice as the wetness hit his eyes faster then he realized it. Holding it in for a moment, he blinked away till the threatening tears vanished. 

“Just keep your head up, the best you can, and if you ever need anything you know I’m here for you. That loser will come around sooner then later cause he needs you more then you know, he loves you so much more then he shows.” 

“I love him too. So much.” 

“I know, sweets. Believe me I know, I do too. But now it’s time to let him take the reigns and let him realize he’s the one who has to make the change this time.”

“Do you think he will?”

“I know he will.” 

Nodding, she pulled back from his grip and gave him a smile. It seemed fuller, more genuine, and it made him smile too. To see her happy was to know he did one thing right. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and stood from where he sat, moving to ruffle her hair softly with one hand. 

“Let’s get you home, doll, it’s getting late.”


	17. chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if its not the most well written, i did my best and i hope it speaks to you somehow 
> 
> Infinity - James Young

Baby swallowed and tried to ignore the way the twisting feeling in his gut returned once again. It was late, unusually late for even him to be up, but he couldn’t ignore the empty spot in the bed next to him. 

Padding down the hallways he pulled his hoodie closer to himself, it was freezing and more then ever he wanted her next to him, but he knew he had to say some very important things first. 

Rounding the corner he caught sight of her on the couch, focusing on her phone as she moved to tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She had on one of his shirts, and was wrapped in a blanket from the waist down. Tightening his grip on his arm through the fabric he took a moment to calm himself down. 

“Cat, can I talk to you?” 

He said it as softly as he could and waited for a response. She sat still for a moment before locking her phone and moving to make room on the couch, patting the space next to her she kept her gaze averted but spoke anyways. 

“Sure, sit.”

Nodding softly, he shuffled over and sat down on the cushion. This was the closest they had been to one another in a week and every part of him wanted to just- hold her.

But this wasn’t about him, not fully. 

“I- I want to talk to you, about everything.”

She looked up from her trance on the carpet and seemed a bit taken aback by it. He didn’t blame her shock as he’d been on radio silence this whole time aside from telling Max he wanted to be left alone every time the older man barged into the room and beat him senseless with a pillow. 

“Go ahead then.”

She sounded guarded, and that was perfectly understandable. 

“I’ve been thinking about it nonstop, and every single day I cannot shake what I did to you. How little compassion and empathy I had for your emotions and how you were doing when I just- loaded all this shit onto you.”

He took another breath and steeled himself harder. 

“I know saying I’m sorry isn’t enough, I know that what I did and how I acted wasn’t the right thing. It was weak of me to abandon you in a time when you needed someone so desperately.”

She hummed, smoothing her hands across the blanket on her legs. 

“I see now that you were more hurt by my words and I want to try to do anything I can to help you. I see now that- if I love you so much I need to start paying more attention to what I do to you and what affect I have on you when I have these issues.” 

She was silent before turning to look at him, her eyes were wet and in seconds he matched it. The pained look was all over her and he could truly feel in that moment the unmistakable sinking feeling of deep regret and guilt ebbing away at him. 

“I love you so much, Gavin. So much more then anyone should ever love someone. I need you now more then ever to actually do something because I don’t know what to do for you anymore.” 

It hurt so much to hear those words finally leave her, he expected them fully and yet the reality of them actually being said was- so much more jarring. 

In his head he never imagined they would face this sort of moment. Deep down he knew he could only do what she needed now, every part of him ached time do something. To do anything. He needed her to be okay, and to do that he needed to take how she felt as seriously as he possibly could. 

Reaching out he took her hand in his, she didn’t protest the contact and instead slid it more into his. Holding it tightly he savored the way it felt so perfect in his grasp, the small things like just the skin to skin contact was something he knew he couldn’t live without. 

“I don’t want to live in fear anymore of stuff that is far in the past. I want to live now, with you, happily and making progress. I want to go on dates again, want to see you next to me when I wake up, want to hold you close when youre upset.” 

Her grip on his hand tightened slightly. 

“I want that too, Gavin. So much. But it’s all secondary.”

He nodded, and swallowed down the pain that tried to force its way back up. 

“From now on I want- no I need you to always tell me how you feel. Even if the timing doesn’t seem right and even if you are worried how Ill react I’m begging you to tell me. I cannot go another day knowing there’s some risk that I’m not aware of what you are feeling.” 

She looked froze for a moment, stuck in thought and like she was making massive choices in the moment that were probably so much more complex then he could understand. 

“Gavin. I need you to promise me right now this doesn’t happen again. And I need- I need more then just your words but for now I just need you to swear to me that this will not happen again.” 

Bracing down on himself he turned to face her fully, grabbing both her hands and holding them as tightly as he could. He took a moment to hold their gazes, never faltering slightly as he tried to just show how deeply he wanted to make this up to her. 

Every inch of him wanted to show her how much he burned to make her happy- how much he wished to see the things that upset her and work on them day in and out till they no longer existed. 

“Cat, with everything I am and for everything it’s worth I swear to you all I want now more then ever is to do whatever it takes to help you recover. I want to see what upsets you and help you with it every day. I want to be the support I should have been for you so so so long ago.” 

The tears slipped down her cheeks one after another, but he didn’t love to wipe them away but rather let his own fall as well as he leaned close enough to rest their heads together. He took a breath and held it, trying his best to give some sort of comfort and stability. 

“I love you more then anything and I’ll do anything for you to see that. I’m going to grow for you, for everything we want to have in the future, and every single day I want to lift you up as well, as high as I possibly can. Because it’s what you deserve, it’s what you have always deserved. I love you for infinity and that will never ever stop. So please, please never hesitate to speak up again. How you feel matters so much, and I will continue to make that known.” 

An almost peaceful silence filled the air around them. The ambiance of the city stories below their apartment giving subtle atmosphere to the quiet and dark living room. Lights from buildings around them shining in and illuminating them in the dark. It was calm for once. 

It felt okay. 

And maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but in time it would be okay. 

But now more then ever Gavin was so very positive that love wasn’t a one sided thing- and it never had been for as long as he had known her. Now, more then ever it burned so strongly in his soul to help her- to let her know her feelings were so important and so valid. 

He was ready for the next chapter in his life and he was ready to do it with her right by his side.


	18. chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i need holy water after this

It hit a little different today, the way she stretched as she got out of bed, his eyes scanning every inch of her that he could see from where he stood at the dresser. His hands fumbled with his tie momentarily, eyes too focused on the way her shorts hugged close to her body. Was he being thirsty so early before he had to leave for work? Possibly, he wasn’t one to deny he found her very eye catching. 

Giving up on the tie, and his self control, he found himself walking over to stand behind her as she stood in front of the large window overlooking the city, checking notifications on her phone. He slipped his hands around to grip her hips firmly, lowering his head down and pressing a tender kiss to her neck. She jumped for a moment, hands scrambling to keep her phone in them, before just setting it down on the windowsill. 

“Gavin! W-what are you doing?”

She was noticeably confused, but Gavin chose not to answer, simply opting to let his trail run down farther, giving more attention to the spots he knew were more sensitive. He didn’t miss a single sound that left her lips, picking up on them from the smallest sigh to every increasingly louder gasp. 

His hands worked the places they idly sat, massaging her hips softly till they found their way slightly up then down her sides a few times. Moving around so his thumbs found their place in the dimples of her lower back, rubbing circles in the flesh till he stilled them in their place. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.”

The words were mumbled against her neck, his eyes falling shut as all he could focus on was the noises that left her. she stepped forward slightly, finding stability on the windowsill, this causing him to lean over her and slightly cage her in from behind. 

She tilted her head to the side to give him more room, and he was fast to begin giving more attention to the spot where her neck and shoulder connected. Moving forward more so her ass made full contact with his lap he tried his best to ignore how perfect it felt, the way she arched into his touch and melted against him. 

“Aaah you- you don’t have to say that.” 

She sounded more breathy, pressing herself back against him more and probably well aware of his own now painfully obvious reaction to her. He simply hummed and pulled back to move to take the shell of her ear in his mouth, nibbling lightly at it and loving the shudder that ran through her in response. Pulling back he moved so his mouth was back on her neck and he let a noise slip free- something between a rumbling groan as she unconsciously rolled her hips back against him. 

He moved one hand up to her chest, exploring across it, dipping his hand below the fabric of her tank top and causing one of the straps to slip free from her shoulder. The other found it’s place toying with the waistband of her shorts, teasing to slip behind the elastic. She sighed into his touches, face burning red at the level of affection he was pouring on her. 

That was till the sound of the radio attached to his vest cracking to life interrupted a particularly delicious sound leaving him- much time cats hidden frustration. 

“Officer Bitch Baby this is Officer Magic Max reporting for duty to haul your ass to the station, do you copy? Over.” 

If Gavin could have murdered someone with his mind alone he would have ended Max in a heartbeat. Sighing and pulling his hand back from the waist of her shorts he pressed the button on the radio and brought it to his mouth. 

“Be down in 6 you fucking moron, over.” 

Rolling his eyes he flipped her around quick and sighed as he moved to pin her back against the windowsill. 

“Gav, you gotta go. It’s okay.”

Smiling and slipping her hand up to cup his face, she pulled him down for a kiss. He held it before deepening it slightly, pulling her close to him one more time and loving the way she made a small noise of surprise at his hands holding her tightly. Breaking the kiss and stepping back he smirked and gave her a wink. 

Turning and going to the door he stopped halfway out and looked back at her. 

“Continue this later?” 

“Yes oh my god just go to work you freak.” 

“Your freak!” 

Bonus:

Max looked at baby with the all knowing eyes of a man who was way too well versed in interesting encounters. 

“Where’s your tie there, buddy?”

Gavin made a grumble as he slammed the door shut and fucked with getting the seatbelt over his vest. 

“If you ever show up early again I’ll kick your ass.”


	19. Chapter 19

Gavin sighed as he shuffled the papers in his arms around anxiously, the dull hum of the elevator adding decent white noise that kept his mind mildly occupied as it lifted him five floors above his own. He usually wasn’t the delivery person for this sort of stuff, normally someone below him getting the task before he even had to mention it. 

However today was different. 

He had taken a- liking? Enjoyment? Interest? Whatever it was, he was into one of the workers in the office above the department. Somewhere he hardly ventured to as paperwork was only half of his day compared to the office who revolved around technical documents and scene reports. 

That being said, he had been waiting for an excuse to venture back to the office to see her again. Her name was Catherine, or she preferred just Cat for short. She was just a bit shorter then him, always neatly styled from hair to shoes and fierce as all can be. To say he hadn’t taken a fast liking to her would be an understatement, from the moment they bumped into one another in the precincts main level it had been an instant blooming of curiosity on his behalf. 

The ding from the elevator pulled him from his mind, the doors sliding open slowly and he stepped out to make room for a group of workers who appeared to be heading out for lunch. As usual the office smelled faintly of coffee, paper, and some flowery air freshener that would have got binned after a day in the department. 

Holding the folder close to his side, Gavin began making his way down the hall of cubicles, ignoring the stares from over desktops and coffee mugs he kept going till he reached a specific desk that was noticeably more decorated then all the others. The sight of fresh flowers on the desk, and the bulletin walls covered in documents and drawings alike giving off an independent personal flare. 

Rounding the corner he stood his ground just outside of the walls and sure enough there she sat, tapping away at her keyboard while humming along to a soft piano melody that came from her phone. Raising his free hand he tapped it lightly on the metal frame of the walls. 

“Got those documents you needed, ma’am.”

She hummed absentmindedly before pausing and turning to look over her shoulder, her eyes went wide for a moment before she turned to face him fully and then stood from her seat. Crossing her arms over her chest she closed the space between them and held out one hand for the paperwork. 

“And what a surprise to have Sergeant Soulless himself hand deliver them to me.” 

Gavin would have scoffed in mock annoyance if it wasnt for the fact she had not already so enthusiastically called him that nickname before- amongst many others. Instead he handed her the folder to which she gently took from him and then turned to slap it down onto her desk on top of a piled that he recalled being much larger a week ago. 

“So, if you have a moment I had a question for you.” 

He steered himself, knowing full well she was always unpredictable in her responses. Sometimes they were genuine and soft but other times- specially to him, they could be slightly jabbing. She hummed, keeping her gaze focused on the papers she was flipping through idly. 

“I was wondering if you would maybe want to catch lunch together- ah, um, if you haven’t already had it that is.”

Slightly digging his nails into his arm from where he had them neatly folded behind his back, he kept his posture and resolve intact, ignoring the way he could feel his cheeks heating slightly. 

“Well, no, actually I haven’t had the chance to get lunch yet cause your rookies keep coming up and slamming more paperwork on my desk.” 

He internally groaned, if it wasn’t slightly suspicious for him to mention for them to give paperwork to anyone else other then Cat he definitely would have done it by now. 

“I’m sorry for-“

“Ah- shut it. I’m not done.” 

He cut himself off instantly, the temptation to avert his gaze strong but he fought against it. 

“I’ll go with you, but you’re paying and I fully expect you to take me out to lunch tomorrow as well.” 

This time he couldn’t fight the deep flush that assaulted his features and was unable to keep himself from briefly looking away, focusing all his energy on keeping his heart calm and his breathing steady. Calming himself enough he nodded and looked back to her, noticing how the slight smile on her face complemented her well, and the way she had rested one hand on her hip while the other held open the packet. 

“It’s a date then.” 

She let out a laugh, not an in-genuine or mocking one but a soft and playful one. 

“Sure, now get out of my cubicle Officer and come get me in an hour and a half sharp or I’m leaving without you.”


	20. chapter 20

Gavin rested his head on her shoulder, his hand sliding up her arm till it slid around her back and he pulled her closer to him. She hummed and leaned into his grasp, her arms coming around his waist to hold on tightly as he moved to gently connect his lips against her neck and slowly move up to her jaw then cheek. 

His heart was racing in his chest, she was so close and she wasn’t shoving him away. He had been waiting to be like this with her for what seemed like months now, and finally having it brought him inconceivable happiness. He was mesmerized with the way she treated him so lovingly and with such intense care, like nobody had ever done for him in such a long time. 

Moving to slide his other hand up from her lower back he rested it on the back of her head and softly pushed it on his chest. She made a small sound of protest but then pushed herself closer, humming contently. 

“I never want to let you go.”

His voice was soft, slightly weak from the desire to break down at this very moment but he held in it because he just wanted to savor the feeling of having her in his arms. 

“I don’t want to let you go either.” 

His heart skipped another beat in his chest, it was almost dizzying. To know someone held this much importance to you was a monumental thing when you’ve spent so long making sure to keep people as distanced as possible. 

And then like out of nowhere they come into your life and suddenly you never wanted to live life as vibrantly as you do now. All those changes that seemed so hard are now so realistic, all those leaps you never took before are irresistible. You have such an innate desire for growth that nothing holds you back anymore. 

He swore to himself he would become better for him, and most importantly for her. His heart raced when she came in the room, eyes fixated on her smile and ears never missing the sound of her laugh. She was an enigma to him, beautifully brilliant and ongoing, he woke every morning so excited and ready to venture into it and find something new about her. 

“I love you so much, you mean everything to me.”

His voice was softer, his grip on her also getting tighter as she began to run slow circles into his back. She moved to look up at him the best she could, ever eyes and smile soft and loving as she moved up on her tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“I love you so much too, Gavin.”


	21. Chapter 21

Gavin smiled and pulled her closer to him, her laugh getting louder as he buried his face against her neck and pressed a flurry of kisses against it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head back to give more room for him to pull her closer. 

“Baby someone could walk in here!”

Her voice was twinged humor and he loved it, moving up to kiss along her jaw and stopping by her ear he tightened his hold around her waist, not missing the sound of her hands gripping onto his vest. 

“And? That’s not stopping me any time soon.” 

His voice was low and it dragged out something akin to an annoyed but flustered groan from her as she slipped free from his grasp and stepped back to the counter to resume unpacking her lunch. 

Gavin, relentless in his ways chose to instead come over next to her, leaning on the counter and letting his head softly thud against the cupboards. 

“Can I please have a kiss before I go?”

He did his best attempt to manage a pouty expression and slightly whiney voice, arms crossed over his chest. She stood still, staring straight forward out the window over the sink, before sighing and setting down the container in her hand. 

Leaning over she stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his, eyes falling shut and a soft hum leaving her as he returned the pressure. The moment was held for as long as they could both tolerate till their shared anxiety of Cats coworkers coming in pulled them apart. 

Giving him a smile, hinted with sass, and picking up the bento in front of her only to shove it against his chest. 

“Get back to the department and you better eat all of that, Sergeant.” 

He smirked and took the container, blowing a kiss before turning to leave the break room. 

“Yes ma’am!”


	22. Chapter 22

The flight of stairs up to the office was always annoying crowded because everyone was always so “health conscious” but now with the elevator being out of service it was even worse then usual. This was unfortunate for Gavin as he had a particularly strong disliking of being in huge crowds. 

Jogging up each flight as fast as he could it was harder avoid all the people coming up and down, his grasp on the packet against his chest tighter as his heart sped up. He already felt like he couldn’t breath and the sensation was being amplified by the pace he was pushing. 

He just wanted to be at the top, and when he looked up and saw he had one last flight the wave of relief was small but very much present. Pushing his speed he skipped one step till he reached the top and nearly tripped in an attempt to avoid almost accidentally bumping into someone. 

Opening the door he swung it open and stepped in, shuffling around a group he began his mad speed walk over to her desk, heart still pounding in his chest and ears ringing. 

Normally Gavin had a better grip on himself, much better then whatever this was. But after an already overwhelming interrogation and then stressful presentation on a difficult case, he was reaching his daily limit. 

When he reached her desk he finally let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, him exhaling must have been louder then he thought cause he pulled her attention straight from her computer to turn to look at him. She seemed frozen for a moment before mild concern showed on her face. 

“Uh, are you okay, Gavin.” 

He swallowed and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead he just slowly released his death grip on the packet and delicately sat it on the edge of her desk. Letting his arms fall back to his sides he looked back up to her and shrugged. 

“Too much going on. Overwhelmed.” 

She nodded, tapping a button on the keyboard that logged her out instantly and stood from her chair. Patting her clothes down she moved out from behind the desk and walked over to him, reaching behind him she grabbed the curtain that was a makeshift door for her cubicle, and slid it shut. 

Sighing to herself, she moved and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder and letting her eyes fall shut. He stood still for a moment before leaning into her embrace and holding onto her tightly. 

Her hand moved in circles on his lower back that wasn’t covered by the vest, her other one moving to try and massage a small amount of the tension out of his neck. 

“Just relax, mi amor. You’re here now, not out there.” 

She spoke softly, and he picked up on it instantly. His body relaxing softly as her touches soothed him into a sense of peace. He could feel himself pulled into her grasp till she was moving to lower him down into the chair in the corner. 

“How long do you have?” 

She said it softly, pulling off her sweater and laying it over him, her hand coming up to run through his hair and gently tuck some loose strands back in place. 

“Hour and a half.” 

Nodding, she leaned down over him and pressed a kiss to his head, her hand coming up to cup his cheek and maneuver him so she could rest her forehead against his. 

“Take a nap please? You need it, Baby.” 

Humming and nodding softly he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and leaned back in the chair, pulling one leg up to prop his arm on for his head and nestling his face against the soft fabric of her sweater. 

“Sweet dreams, love.”


End file.
